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deleted…

open it back.

So hoo....
i just realised that this blog was created since july 2007... when i browsed back some of the draft entry..it's been more than a year ago, inconjuction of my ex-bf. pfff!

Some of the entry between july to december i'd keep it in draft, well....let it be saved in there.... but, a part from it.. from july 2007,august,and october 2007 entries hmmm.....are here now back in here... =)

rindu giler!

Aiih, browsing some old photo's folder,tetiba rindu giler time study dulu. aaa i wish i can turn back time!!

atass nama cint@ sejati..

"Cinta sejati yang bisa
Memberi tanpa harus menerima
Dia membawa damai dan bahagiakan jiwa
untuk semua manusia

Hanya cinta sejati yang bisa
Bertahan tanpa mengenal waktu
Tak kan pernah sirna bagai karang di samudra
Kan abadi tuk selamanya .."

I was browsing through some oldskool songs in my song's database.and this song capture my attention. those words or lyrics reminds me...of everythings. pondered to some of the sweet memory...sweet things that...had happened in my life...cant help it.

i'm lonely, im tired, i'm missing you again...

currently listening : avenged sevenfold - dear god.

My mood is static.i feel like nothings but prolly there must be somethings.
Lately everythings appeared back. those unwanted feeling.
those hurt from past...tho, i have told myself to get rid of everythings that's smell past.but, deeply every things is still inside. aahx.. please..i don't wanna cry...remembering those suffer part.those agony and pain...

"i just wanna be happy".

*sigh*

so... esok keje! monday blues...!!

at some point....

Hmm..
It was too melancholic if i said that the word scarifying is very synonym to me. ..i let my heart off and i let other party happy.
To the ex-lover,family,friends...and my own self.
it's hard to describe everythings here.Sometimes, i wish i have the courage to pour out and get some space to steal back my own happiness.There are so much i wanted to say but sometimes, words got in my way not because i'm not happy , but it is more and more than it suppose to be.

Now, the environment had changed,i have had to force myself coz i didnt want to think much at least for this year.Browsing back for some of the old photos, the feeling suddenly came again, longing, missing the good old days, my good company my good friends back at study years back at cheras and cyber,it's makes me sad and suddenly tears running down slowly.Yes, perhaps i am too sentimental and emotional person. I treasured and valued every memorable and good things happened in mylife...

Some part that value and worth to appreciate, while some part that hurts and worth to let go.Life gets whole lots better perhaps, but i'm still in healing process, hope to get better and better in time.Hope that nobody will ask me how i feel right now, hope that the clock will ticking faster and faster..hope i can go to the future and forget about the wounds and stop the bleed that i'm having right now , it's still haunting and killing me as well.In my thought, i just need to know,that's possible that two people can stay happy together forever? can i trust words and promises that eventually means nothings and lie?. Pathetically i'd been blind because of love, and the irreponsible person only took advantage on me easily.Pathetically i still could not forget.

Well,people can see how tough enough i am now. I'm strong enough to hide what i actually feel, deep down in my heart i feel so tired, so sad, too lonely,empty and denial. I am too afraid to trust and start everythings all over again.At some point, i wish someday they will knew at least someday they will try to appreciate and realised.For now, i just have to be patient and pray to Him. I know, the test is always hard, but that's where we learned to be a better person and i always believe, one day the hardship will be cured. amin..

What will happened next? only time will tell..