at some point....

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

It was too melancholic if i said that the word scarifying is very synonym to me. ..i let my heart off and i let other party happy.
To the ex-lover,family,friends...and my own self.
it's hard to describe everythings here.Sometimes, i wish i have the courage to pour out and get some space to steal back my own happiness.There are so much i wanted to say but sometimes, words got in my way not because i'm not happy , but it is more and more than it suppose to be.

Now, the environment had changed,i have had to force myself coz i didnt want to think much at least for this year.Browsing back for some of the old photos, the feeling suddenly came again, longing, missing the good old days, my good company my good friends back at study years back at cheras and cyber,it's makes me sad and suddenly tears running down slowly.Yes, perhaps i am too sentimental and emotional person. I treasured and valued every memorable and good things happened in mylife...

Some part that value and worth to appreciate, while some part that hurts and worth to let go.Life gets whole lots better perhaps, but i'm still in healing process, hope to get better and better in time.Hope that nobody will ask me how i feel right now, hope that the clock will ticking faster and faster..hope i can go to the future and forget about the wounds and stop the bleed that i'm having right now , it's still haunting and killing me as well.In my thought, i just need to know,that's possible that two people can stay happy together forever? can i trust words and promises that eventually means nothings and lie?. Pathetically i'd been blind because of love, and the irreponsible person only took advantage on me easily.Pathetically i still could not forget.

Well,people can see how tough enough i am now. I'm strong enough to hide what i actually feel, deep down in my heart i feel so tired, so sad, too lonely,empty and denial. I am too afraid to trust and start everythings all over again.At some point, i wish someday they will knew at least someday they will try to appreciate and realised.For now, i just have to be patient and pray to Him. I know, the test is always hard, but that's where we learned to be a better person and i always believe, one day the hardship will be cured. amin..

What will happened next? only time will tell..



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