when it's rains..it pours...?

BIG NO.

well,

apparently, i'm stronger than i'm expected.it's time for me to move on. eventho i'm still dwelling with certain unwanted feeling unwittingly. i just hope that those things will disappeared someday. in the meantime, i just cherish the moments at home, doing mundane things !hehe.... i will not giveup to myself, i wont umbrage with the things that will not really important. i will avoid thinking deeply the things that is unnecessary at all. so, my feeling is still bridled.....haaa.. no worries.!i wont cry because of stupid things. me okay.

let's pray and hope for better outcome....

so, that was what abg. zaki told me..thank you. :)

yes, i do hope for the job but at the same time, i have butterflies in my stomach. interview..arghh.. kecut perut...nghee..i feel a bit moody, maybe because of the hormones...so, i dont want to think much.i'll try not to let anything unimportant, yes.. impinge on my attention and emotion.
because i just want to be happy.

i didnt go anywhere today.i just staying at home, do some homeworks, watching tv, american idols top 20, i really impressed when David archuleta sing this John Lennon song. hmmm that boy is so cute and adorable ..right..hehe...

so, a lil shocking news lastnight when i heard that the President and CEO of TM Group, Dato' Seri Abdul Wahid Omar has been announced, to be the new CEO of Maybank replacing Datuk Amirsham A. Aziz.While the ex-CEO of Maxis, Datuk Jamaludin Ibrahim will be replacing Dato' Seri Abdul Wahid as the new CEO of TM. Congrates!

i think that's the update. chiow...

nutella,honey,strawberry and peanut butter...

hmmm....

Tired. today i go to postoffice and send the remining resumes to other companies...another job applications. ok.then, pergi beli
barang2 dapur with mom.
Then ke hosp..visiting my nenek
sedara.... then..baru balik rumah okay.

yep, i want to tell here that certain someone makes me smiling all the way. i love this feeling. well, even temporary. i dont care =)

Hmm... 6.00pm , i checked my e-mail. yes..lately, i always have the interest and regularly checking my e-mail, mane tau ada e-mail for interview kan?*wink*..tak macam dulu..i let my inbox..with thousands no. of mails and junk mail.. and so,...i received 2 e-mail from abg.zaki, he wanted me to send my resume and details direct to....Puan y.. which is the mgr of human capital for MGCC. i was like hhaa..? okay. 50%-50%... and i'm waiting for the next phase. whether..kene call ke tak? we'll see...

headache.

The weather is damn hot today. i went out with mom, we went to Pej Pelajaran for submit the application form for guru sandaran...so, mom met her kawan lama there...masa mengajar dulu. one of them..pernah mengajar aku but unfortunately.. i da lupe. haha..so hopefully dapat lah kerja tu...the payment is quite okaylah rm2000++ for guru ganti and... rm2400+- for guru sandaran. plus staying kat rumah kan...so sgt jimat...or i can jolijoy with that money.haha...berangan.. okaylah..better than i dok nothing je kat ruumah...
ade rezeki.tak kemana.. wish me luck!

Next we went for lunch at KFC. haha yeaaa finally, i bought the KFC MUG..Then...to Maybank. paid all the bills, asb and ets.

so penat. so panas. need rest.. so taataa then..

:)

So, mylife is good.
i see the sun shines after heavy rain. owh watever.


I've send many resumes and cv, and i received a few calls for interviews but didnt go for it. I just went for the PTD exam last saturday but didnt put any highhope for it...=).
Hmm, i did feel there's a barrier that i have to go thru...before entering to the real working world. mom that always care and overprotected.mom that always fussy, and mom always wanted the best forme.

So, tomorrow i'll go to Pejabat Pelajaran . Hmm.. i hope i can get the job, as a guru sandaran.haha me become cikgu?omg. yeah...most ppl said that i shouuld mewarisi pekerjaan mak saya tu.owh watever.. as temporary/sandaran teacher, why not eh? nghee..

Yesterday i received a wedding invitation card from Lia..(my ex-dormate back to SAMURA 1998) and today.. i got sms form 2t asked for my adds, yes also for the same purpose. hoho... time flies really quick eh?and apparently im still single and nothing has changed.

For me, relationship with man doesnt really work , and the hell i dont know why?!ngahh!!i've been cursed.probably NO..haha well, maybe im not meet the real perfect guy yet or there;s no guy left for me.

hehe... :p

its all the same?

suprisingly i'm wrong.
happy and laugh
just for awhile perhaps.

but, hay.! i wont giveup.
promise, my next choice will be my best choice.

thanks for the feeling, for the guts
for me myself that always be me.
the other part of me is great right.?
i know... i will continuosly follow the flow..

seriously....

i want to breakfree.
i want to make myown way...catching my dreams.

maybe, things wont seem perfectly beautiful yet.
better job, better man, a good life, marriage and kids.
i dont want hope.because yet, it will eventually hurt me.

all i wanna do right now is to pray. pray for everythings.
for every sins that i made. for ppl i love and care
for the journey that i will eventually gone thru.

smiles. and happy. yes, fortunately right now at least, there is a
person or a mutual friend that can entertain me.it's more than enough for me.
even i know, it wont stay longer. but who knows right?

unfortunately...

i wanna go far....from here. i really want to forget those things..
it was the most stupid things and moronic things happened .
*deleted*

the pig is always be the pig.it wont turn to cat,eh?.

harsh? yes i am harsh!

*deleted*
For the memories that wont disappeared. for everythings that's seems to be dark and horror. for the bloody tears.
everythings will stay there.

fc!fk! fck!!fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!

the holiday...

This v.day i will be alone...so, i'm gonna spend my time to re-watch my fav film "the holiday".. ok...here goes my fav quote in that film:

"I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert.

Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms. "

lie...

it's okay if that's the only things u can do...

polished.

i'm not feeling well. i got headache argh please dont demam now.
maybe due to lately i'd been thought alot. much problemos. gosh..brain damages.
but tonight i am emotionally healthier compared to yesterday.i guess haha.
eventho my heart is starting to "terkrenat".

hmmm fyi, i'd been stopped taking too much of caffeine.so, so long mr. nescefe ice! ...i'm started to drink anline yes just for the sake of my bones...& a cuppa of choc anline at night. & dont forget to stop muchy2 late night okay?.

haargh.. i'm missing my friends. :(

First Love Never Dies...do you still remember ?

2000 - march 2003:

Everythings abt him suddenly popup from my brain. This happened when i met my cousin and we discussed about the bf-gf issues.so lame topic eh? and suddenly she asked me abt him. and..yes... for quit a long time...i never mentioned that name, MKNH in front of everyone but i proudly had him as my bf. eventho we ended like this now. Our love was too strong, but just didn't have any power to make things work....maybe at that time i was too childish. and didnt know what to decide and i took everythings lightly. He gave me much...the love letters, the cards...but most importantly loves... sweet and care and his kindness,...he never ever acted rude twrd me, scolded me,or everythings. He was too nice that time okay...arghhh.. From JB to KL to Bangi to JB and he never ever complaint everythings he did, how much money he invested only to make me happy.

Yes the relationship only took for almost 3 years. i regret for what i did. everythings was my fault. it is too late to say i miss him now, i dont know where he is, what he does.... both of us changed the phone no. & everythings...since we broke up.sigh! ironically,weird i only took 5 months to recover & my life started back to normal.

But, until now, i still kept everythings he gave me. i read back the love letters. it was like.. whooach... at least.. for the first time i realise...someone had appreciated me.

these memory inside me it just a snapshot to revive the feelings...perhaps... ?

the memory..wont killed me... it just make me feel alive &...at least makes me happy!..

it was too late for everythings but that's okay. remember the moments we had and treasured and appreciated those time is the most important things for me.

yep..nearly 5 years ago....too fast, too speed. but all the memories is still fresh.still.