KETENTUAN.....

I'm super duper tired...after finished class at 2.40pm, rushed back home...pray and lunch..and headed to Cyberjaya...arrived there...approximately.. 5.00pm...i went to SMK Cyberjaya... Alhamdulillah.. i'll having another government exam for Pegawai 41 this saturday....then...headed back home...arrived here..around 7.45pm....

While i was driving back home alone... i listened to this song.....and... i was pondering to SOME sweet-super-bitter-shit memory,and my tears suddenly falling down inevitably .....still fresh!... i cud not accept... cud not forgive.i'm a lonely soul who's hunger for one nice comforter.. but I'm contain with hatred,SADNESS and regret..cant help it.still.

Tak semudah kau sangka
Melepaskan kau pergi
Hati yang meronta, hampa kecewa
ku tekad sembunyikannya dari pandanganmu

aKu rela begini...oooo
Berakhirnya di sini
Dari bersamamu terus berpura
Setelah cinta tiada lagi di hatimu

Ku hapuskan airmata dari mengiringi
Kesengsaraan mengharung perpisahan ini
Ku pujuk jiwa nestapa
Pendamkanlah duka
Pasrah pada lara ketentuan ini

Tak semudah kau rasa
Melepaskan kau pergi
Hati yang terluka dikunjung jua
Kerinduan yang tidak tertanggung terhadapmu

Sesungguhnya
Ku tahu betapa sukar untukku
Menempuh hidup
Walau sehari tanpamu
Ku terseksa

editing....

sunday...movies...marathon....

"bila sedih...dan teringat..aku ingat kata-kata mak: takpelah...biar orang buat & sakitkan kita, jangan kita buat orang"

Ya Allah...ampunkan dosaku..berikan kekuatan utk ku...sesungguhnya Kau Maha Pendengar, Maha Mengetahui dan Maha Adil...

short term, long term....

So, bila my family members gathered & discussed...for the big ceremony that will going to be held on 20April(sunday)..at my house...maka.. gamat-havox rumahku..haha...kawan-kawan dijemput hadir bagi memeriahkan suasana....

Alhamdullillah...yes, i got the job at one of big/wellknown company in KL... but...am i going to move out again to the hiruk-pikuk cosmopolitan city...after 7 years stayed thereee? am i?we'll see..

it's raining....

Hmm... hari ini ada class ganti...so hari persekolahan seperti biasa, but before gerak pergi ke sekolah, amik makcik kat rumahnya.. sebab dia ada class memandu kat seremban. so, sampai sekolah dalam pukul 7.20am... sangap jugaklah..tunggu cikgu-cikgu yang lain. memandangkan aku takda tugas-tugas khusus utk majlis ni..so jadiknya tolong mana yang patut.. pergi breakfast ngan c.ayu and c.zu and jumpa cikgu intan kat kantin.. lepas makan tayang muka jap...haha... pergi tengok beberapa pertandingan yg diadakann. dalam pukul 12.00pm.. semua pun balik..kemudian, aku ke Alor gajah....for no particular reason, somethings sadden me much...it was too much.

The fact that..balik-balik mood swing. kinda penat, tido sekejap..and 30minutes after that...my friend H called me. cheer me up.at least for awhile... cuba tido kembali..but tiba-tiba.. Mak usu pulak datang from KL...haha...and..pergi tampin. lepas tu..pergi rumah maktih..kat clonlee..minum petang, borak-boraak.. gelak-gelak.. yang pastinya..kami keluarga bahagia. then..Pakcek called dia dah sampai rumah from Ampang..bergegas balik ...lepas mandi solat...gi masak-masak...dinner..and again.. acara borak2.

arghh sleepy giler..nak tido.

breathing gets harder...

Hari ni jumaat, after habis bacaan surah Yassin kat dewan, guru guru dan pelajar berhimpun untuk taklimat keje. memandangkan esok ada Majlis Tadarus Al-Quran(MTQ) peringkat daerah yg diadakan di sini...so, jadinye.. saya, ustaz nazrol dan zuraida...semua kene jaga tingkatan 4 mpv...untuk memantau mereka membersihkan kawasan-kawasan yang diarahkan. poning gak kepala. muahaha... sbb form 4 ni..susah sikit nak dengar cakap. dah la kami-kami ni guru2 gstt. ikut hati nak je aku baling kasut kat diorg yg tak makan saman tu.Lepas abih membersihkan kawasan, kami gi breakfast seperti biasalah bersama cikgu rahayu, intan, kak lin,zuraida...jumpa plak c.khad,ainol and kak ida...

Lepas makan sume dah macam takde keje, so...ringankan tulang tolong cikgu kat Bilik Masakan... pergi pasang langsir, skirting, kemas-kemas itu-ini.lepas habis..baru balik semula ke bilik guru.

Bila dah ada kat bilik...guru, tetiba dapat panggilan dari GPK 1. ahahaha... "anda telah dilantik menjadi guru tingkatan 3 Hijau" hahaa... padan ngan muka aku okay! kene plak isi markah pelajar. owh kije-kije...

rebound?

It's too early to decide everythings. meeting someone new in mylife...
it's too early to accept.because mistakes from past makes me be more careful in order to trust someone. i know... he probably a good friend. he probably a good company. but...

I dont want any rebound. if we still friends... probably we can make it till end.
But, if we decide our relationship turn out more than friends.. yet,noone knows...i do appreciate his concerned and his feeling toward me. ..
i'm sorry.hope he's understand.

Let it be...Let it go....

i believe in karma....
i feel grateful for what i have right now.
everythings seems perfectly okay. hopefully..
the lady culprit wont interfere in mylife again...

Sabar...Tuhan maha adil...

Strength....

Nabi Muhammad S.A.W bersabda : "Barangsiapa membaca surah Alam Nasyrah, seperti ia mendatangi aku dan aku mengambil kesempatan maka menjadi suatu kelapangan daripadaku".

Barangsiapa membiasakan membaca surah Alam Nasyrah selesai mengerjakan solat fardhu, nescaya Allah permudahkan urusannya serta dimudahkan segala keperluannya dan dimudahkan rezekinya.

Sesiapa yang membacanya nescaya Allah turut melapangkan dadanya serta dijauhkan daripada segala kesukaran dalam segala urusannya. Dihilangkan segala sifat kesal dan jemu, serta mendatangkan rajin dalam mengerjakan ibadat.

Barangsiapa membaca Alam Nasyrah sembilan kali sesudah solat fardhu nescaya Allah akan menjauhkan daripada kesempitan hidup dan dimudahkan rezeki dalam segala urusan.

when it rains..it pours..

Hmm... i just got back from JB.. but i still have the energy...to update.haha..super tired,kinda.

On saturday...10.00am..... dari sini.... ikut highway stopped jap kat rnr Pagoh..then... headed to JB... Arrived there..approximately 1.00pm... Then met kak eda and Nini kat tmn U...then g check in kat Pulai Springs Resort.....we choose...stay kat sana sbb agak dekat dgn UTM, so takda susah mereka nak ke Convo pagi-pagi tu...lepas..penat-penat...solat...rest.. petang tu... kami gi Tebrau City.....haha..saje..window-window shopping.. and... of coz..shopping*wink* and makan lagi...then... Paklong Zainal called.. suruh datang rumah dia...for dinner.. die nak treat us special..before... balik semula ke Skudai... kami singgah jap kat Danga Bay... took afewsnapshots.. and....agak letih....but.. still aku meneruskan jadi driver tak bergaji of the day.whatsosay....hehe...

Magrib kat rumah Paklong kat tmn mutiara rini... then...lepas magrib...gerak gi makan.hmmm... punya lah jauh tempat makan..from Skudai... to PTP... pastu kak yati sajeje nak ikut jalan dalam...so, the perjalanan took nearly 40minutes. plus gelap and hujan rintik2...konvoi...5 kereta. ke destinasi.haha... angkut semua.. nenek , atok and tok umi sekali...but.. worth it..la..bila sampai...2 fully booked table...dah depan mata.. and... seafood splatters.. i was like.. owowow....indulging the foods sampai lebam.. fully sponsored by Paklong.tq..tq...

Saye sangat letih..okay... i thought..balik-balik hotel boleh tido.. tapi mereka.. nak singgah plak pesta konvo pulak..dulu. haha.. ikutkan ajar... time tu mata dah 3/4 tertutup..hahaha...pkl 12 baru balik hotel.

The next day..early morning my cousin, Nini dah siap2 utk pergi konvo dulu..ngan paktih and paktih... the rest of us..lepak dulu...lamabt skit baru datang. After breakfast... baru gi tengok Nini.. I Bought her.. a bouquet of roses..... Congrates to her.. seriously i cant wait for my 2nd time convocation.. which is... in August.insyaAllah... ;)

There's alot...alot of things happened at the same time...hahah... but.. before balik... rumah.... kami singgah... dulu rumah paklong...amik nenek and atok and makcik. dan of coz makan..secret recipi.."soto" and "roti canai" tok Umi...

So, gerak dari rumah Paklong.. pukul 6.00pm... hujan sgt lebat.. walaupun mcm tu... aku terpaksa gak drive..tralalala...nak driver! nak drver.... singgah kat RNR Pagoh.. utk dinner and solat... and... Alhamdullillah... sampai rumah..pkl 10.30pm

oklah. penat giler dah. nak tido... sok nak keje....

chiow....

photos :

*mencari-cari...*

*peace smiles like you mean it*

*makan time..ngan budak2 kuat makan*

melawan kesepian....

semoga mampu ku lawan kesepianku...

sigh..

i'm off to JB.

i love youu..

inhale....exhale...

Man,omg...thinking about the past which i dun wish to think anymore. It makes me question myself again, Why? Why? Why? I cant accept the fact. The fact that I'm blinded by lies,twisted words... The fact that I being cheated by the some kind of jerk. Jerk that I dont wish to get involve with. This hatred is increasing. This anger is adding to the fire. I hate this feelings. But i cant help it.... i misshate him so much. And...perhaps right now he is...enjoying his life-love with someone else ****...and that particular person just stabbed my heart with poison words...Perhaps in past, i was the one who was so loyal and honest with him. i have close my heart tightly,i did everythings because of love.. ..but unfortunately... at the end this is what i got... *sigh*...
Ya Allah...
i have to be patient right..... i always believe..what's goes around comes around.

Sometimes i wish i never exist in this world. why must i have to accept...and still accepting.....My mind is filled with what have happened. I just wish the I could erase all those from my memory. This heart that had never been healed keep bleeding..the more i dig into it...it is like killing myself. It hurts me so much. It hurts me to know that I m so dumb. I cant accept the fate.

"make new life..and forget"


I'm in pain...really. why must they keep disturbing my thought and my life... how to move on... i dont know..where and what and when to start...?

Menjaga hati...

by Yovie & Nuno

Masih tertinggal bayanganmu
yang telah membekas di relung hatiku
hujan tanpa henti seolah bertanda
cinta tak disini lagi kau telah berpaling

REFF:

Biarkan aku menjaga perasaan ini
menjaga segenap cinta yang telah kau beri
engkau pergi aku takkan pergi
kau menjauh aku takkan jauh
sebenarnya diriku masih mengharapkanmu

ooh oooh

Masih adakah cahaya rindumu
yang dulu selalu cerminkan hatimu
aku takkan bisa menghapus dirimu
meskipun kulihat kau kini diseberang sana

REFF

Andai akhirnya kau tak juga kembali
aku tetap sendiri menjaga hati

Sejujurnya aku masih mengharapkanmu
oooh ooohh

today...

The routine as a real working lady...which is a teacher is like this: wake up 6.15am every morning, mandi,subuh prayer, breakfast and.. 7.00am.. headed to school. hmm..haha... lalala...i'll get use to it..sape la nak kasi...free2 2-4 everymonth kan..? hahaha.. it's comes perhaps less burden but with big responsibilities.

So today is friday, early in the morning 7.40 till 8.00am.. there was a recitation of surah Yassin at hall.(with all Muslim teachers and form 5 students).

Another 2 more new gstt teacher registered. i was like haaaa? new more...but yeh! i made another friends.yepei..!!!I 'm agreee when they said there was absolutely really huge different.. between work and study... e.x: the way you communicate.. is totally differ and change.... how i miss my gila-gila clans..back at cheras and cyber.sigh....When you work..you have to act professional and be more serious...no more gilak-gilak... everything is one time opportunity. I'm gad.. i had a good result...in my degree years...now i have a good job...even it is temporary... but this might one step to successful future.InsyaAllah....

I had ICTL meeting before balik tadi, even tho i still don't have the real timetable.. but i already received my modules. hey! I'm over excited....*batting eyelashes*

Birthday of Prophet Muhammad.

Yes! today is holiday...in conjunction of birthday of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W.
On 29.march ada celebration of Majlis Tilawah Al-Quran peringkat daerah..
at my school...SMK Sultan Idrus. hehe..or nama lainnya..SMT.
hmmm... most probably adalah kerja tu...
Kelas yang aku selalu jaga..yang buat saket kepala..kelas 2 jingga..
byk mintak excuse utk latihan nasyid..tapi kadang2..seronok gak layan
murid-murid..tapi jangan sampai pijak kepala. bak kata mak. :P..
i know it is a very HUGE responsibility.

i am so excited..to receive my new timetable...
sok ada ICT meeting.. hahaha..

harini... gi service kereta, hantar basuh kereta... sbb on sunday nak ke JB.
yea! double excited. missed JB so much...

coz..time takes time...

...melawan kesepian.

While, both of them might be delighted to the love thropy they'd won,or in another words they're happy to see other endure the pain, and i still standing here trying so hard to digest every things.it's kinda melancholy and sappy things to remember.right!?.some part was too hard to forget. beauty of the memories was intertwined with sadness. The fact that i have to consume more bitter than sweet part.haih...

On the lighter note, perhaps i sound too good with those words.perhaps mylife is better to be this way. perhaps it is good not to hear or see all the perfect deceiving drama from you again.

Or, the Almighty has already showed me the mr. right.but it is too early for me to decide. because i'm too afraid to get started allover again.in fact, maybe because i already had somethings good in life now. apparently a good noble job.

what to expect when you expecting?

hmmmm.....

second day at school..? sgt suke...coz i met few new friends..
yg also GStt..dan senasib.
patut harini stayback sampai 5.30pm, tp dah sume
cabut..haha...

suppose..ade interview harini..but tak pergi.
and also on friday..kat MIDF(Malayasian Industrial DevelopmentFinance Bhd) at kL...
it was a good opportunity...
hmmm they are actually seeking MMU graduates..
coz i never apply for the job.heh! they took my name from mmu.:P
masih duk fikr..lagi ni.hmmm...but, most probably i wont go.
or..maybe..i must cling to the fact..
that i was born to be a teacher.

but rezeki makin bertambah....alhamdulillah.happy rasa...
maybe betul apa yang orang selalu kata.

yea! sok cuti.

hmm..c.i.k.g.u

1st day....at new school, was kinda...janggal...tried to be positive.
cikgu-cikgu banyak takda hari ni... sbb ade MSSD..
so, saya menjadi guru "relief" utk few classes.
class sampai 2.40pm...phenat...and tomorrow most probably ade...
sampai petang. KOKO...

hahaha... what a day...:)

can't help it....

Song lyrics | Gravity lyrics

Alhamdulillah...

Hmm... told ya, my instinct never letme down.it's true againn.. instead of orang kata "jangan senang percaya orang"... orang juga cakap, "rezeki ada dimana-mana". buktinya hari ini...

Alhamdulillah, once ppl did something bad on us...we will eventually & definately get the rewards..buktinya hari ini....

im not going to smug or what, but...Allah Maha Pendengar...Allah Maha..Pengampun dan Mengasihi... kita manusia yang selalu terlupa...

I'll start my new day. tomorrow... yea!good luck!

are you sad..?

I'm not sure what i'm feeling right now, i want to move on but...i go nowhere...Hmm i had terrible headache... and went to clinic... and doc said i have migrain. gosh.. i was quite surprised tho, i cudnot take the pressure...i cudnt sleep for the past few days...somethings,much things bombarded in my head. i wish i can rectify everythings...make it not happened, but i don't have the power...

Perhaps, they were right, jangan cepat percaya orang. i know i am the kinda of person who always has good impression toward ppl...it's hard for me to judge ppl..and think negative about them.not untill the mess up with me..haha but, those experience makes me..scared, holding back. i wish i can open my heart back...when there's a chance.. but, is sit true? or another test for me? or all i can do...just keep waiting...and waiting until the end of my day.sigh.....

but hey.. i wont let myself down... because i know... He always guide me... for a good path,fix me whenever i go wrong and give me strong.... it will takes..time.... for everythings. kan?

"doa banyak-banyak... insyaAllah..doa orang teraniaya akan dimakbulkan".. amin

space.....

*deleted*
I believe somethings happened with reasons....they must be happy right now!right?..but.....some people said..life is like a rollercoaster. up and down... tergolek at the same time.it's true perhaps.I admid my weakness and what went wrong in mylife. The pain always unbearable, but....i have to face it....the culprit brad had stab and killed me inside.... ..it's ok.*sigh*.

But lastly i tried to calm myself...and convinced that this life is too short. hope to make the pain become less significant,less visiable. hope to make it forever gone....

so, i have another interview on weds...wish me luck.Alhamdulillah..

"Barangsiapa yang bertakwa kepada Allah, nescaya Allah akan lepaskan ia dari masalah hidup Dan diberikannya rezeki dari sumber yang tidak diduga. Dan barangsiapa yang bertawakkal kepada Allah, nescaya Allah akan mencukupkan keperluannya. Sesungguhnya Allah melaksanakan urusan ( yang dikehendaki ) Nya. Sesungguhnya Allah telah mengadakan ketentuan bagi tiap-tiap sesuatu."

back off...step away....

somethings desparately need to pour here. but, still need a right time for it.busy. i'm going to bake a lemon frosted cake, speggety, kari ayam and roti jala for.. tea-time... today...

sabar...

so, i just got back from putrajaya, spend 2 days...a night at rumah kak eda...thank you.

first day : we went to midvalley, bought the movie tickets and...we had lunch at Yoshinoya. hmm...oh yoshinoya...so,the movie started at 12.00pm, finished at nearly 2.00pm.. miggled around with cousins, bought 2 tops...and happy.yea...then, we bought half dozen of BIG apple donouts..indulged yepei!...around 4.30pm bar naik komuter and naik erl..sampai ke putrajaya... waiting for k.da to fetched us.... sampai rumah lepak..lepak..tengok Bella, after magrib..we went for dinner sama-sama...lepak..and borak..so much things to chitchat..and of coz some unbelieveable heart-wrecking-love-story.sigh.


second day : haa... dah bangun subuh...sambung tido..sampai pukul 11.00am..hahaha.. giler betul...pastu kejutkan mereka..mandi2... tengok project runaway 4...then, had breakfast sama2...haha sronok! dah lapar..semua then kami ke alamanda....makan di Rasamas..and window shopping... then, karaoke..i sung my heart out. haha merekalah cakap... mana taknya...from..how do i live, cobalah utk setia, stand by you, unfaithful and lastly...when you're gone.. hahaha...
lepas amik k.da habis kerja..kami pun pulang...

so that's the update...

im not feeling well... i guess i miss someone so bad...

"Di antara manusia ada orang yang berdoa, 'Ya Tuhan kami, berilah kami (kebaikan) di dunia,' dan tidak ada baginya bagian di akhirat. Dan di antara mereka ada orang yang berdoa, 'Ya Tuhan kami, berilah kami kebaikan di dunia dan kebaikan di akhirat, dan peliharalah kami dari siksa neraka.' Mereka itulah orang-orang yang mendapat bagian dari apa yang mereka usahakan, dan Allah sangat cepat perhitungan-Nya. (Q.s. al-Baqarah: 200-2).

broken down....

Where do you go, with your broken heart in tow?..

i know, i keep wishing everythings to disappear.if i can stop talking about it.i wish i can find comfort in pain. i missed everythings that wont be mine nemore...

it easy to hear the reason and give simple appologize. but, how about the nonstop crying heart?*sigh*...as my tears running down, i still can smile. thank you to ex-lover who also a cheater...harsh word to say.but...

tomorrow, i'll go to putrajaya and midvalley. gonna watch DR SEUSS' HORTON HEARS A WHO! ...i'm going to have a lil fun for two days. thank you for little sponsors,courtesy from my mother. and insyaAllah.. on 20th plus2 of march...i'll go to JB. haa...at last... and at least.......

enough said... i cant stand anymore.

on myown......

i might just a typical normal girl. but, i'm still different from others. my feeling is too deep.you gave bruise on it. i wish i can remove everythings inside my brain right now. i wish i can stop mourning and crying.

i wish i can stop pretending that i'm happy...
pretending i have someone to hear everythings..but there's noone
pretending that mylife is good.....
pretending that i'm embracing everythings...
pretending that i'm accepting and bear those wounds you'd made for me.

how easy people can just said.how abt..put their feet into my shoe?.how to forget everythings.? how to have someone else..when i'm just alone in my own world.? too much haze in my heart...there's noone will understand... noone beside, to talk .

i'm just different...different from people that might have other people with them. have siblings and special person beside them to cry...

Because ppl easily did everythings on me. take everythings for granted, without thinking of damages you'd made. and...lastly, you wants me to swallow back everyhings???...and let it be one of the experience of life.how simple?.. how on earth i can accept?????? arghh...too much... i still cudnt put it into words here.why i must stop thinking, when there's too much in my thought... too much of delusional...that has turned out to be reality...and bloody truth to be hold...and it's worst.... why?...

i will takes a very long time to heal... the agony. i'm suffered, i cudnt breath..... how could the person i used to love did this to me......why?

too much of bitterness.

i really need my happy face....

thank you..

hopefully, those words...wud heal me for awhile...

s: k.a ok dah ke skrg?
me : tahla.. sgt.. sedih tapi mls nak fikir
s : kite paham...xpe.. time will heal...u can cry...letout the feeling forawhile
then u'll relief
me : haa dah abeh ayak mata nak kua dah
s: alooloo..xpa2 alot fishes in the sea...he never reliase..k.a...
s: die nak pilih kaca...die xnampak diamond kat dpn mata.. dia tak appriciate
s: biar pi dia..1 hari dia rasa..
s: i know k.a loyal and syg dia tp uatpe org camtu...
s: senang nak mainkan hati k.a...
me : tah la s.. cant help it..
s: it's ok..it's not worthit k.a.. u hurt lagi..if k.a cont camni
s: kte tau kak u strong..xpa..single is better..at least u still have time to chose
s: pilih yg ensem2, kaya2, baik2..hehehee
me : tulah....xpe kite tak kisah... janji tak penipu and buaya. ..hhuu
s: baguih2... dah2..happykan diri tu
me: thx s.. huhuh... *joget cucuk bintang*

tears dry on their own...

it is too hard, i dont have the answer. bleeding much than i'm expected. still i have to go through. i just want to be happy.please... laugh again not crying and sighing. please.

i have a friend that might probably hear what i said, i'm not going to cry on his/her shoulder. i dont want to pour everythings... to them...i'm not desparate to have someone to fill the void....all i want is some honesty..i want something that can stop the bleed.i need somethings to forget everythings...every single things.

TMTH ...but i cant handle anymore. i want to stay positive, but i feel like...im pretending. too much i know... and too much i still want to know. lotsa questions and doubt. it's killing me inside. i was alone...settling my feeling here.jst here. i still wonder..how certain ppl can cure when they're down. and how about the happy-love in the air feeling out there?. im not envy but i'm just wonder.tooo much in my head, too much i have to swallow......only bitterness is in my heart now. how i wish i didnt know...everythings. Haih......

bleeding

I hope the things that happened will be for the last and very last one. i cant hold any despressed feeling anymore. i dont want to waste my time for keep thinking of this things again-again (even i'm trying to forget) but, the piece and pieces of the leftover still there. Grateful, because i still have friends that can hear my tearful heart ....thanks for the words and advised.i 'll changed my phone no... there's the first things i did. i'll avoid everythings from you... Thank you for making me like this, thank you for being selfish and so shame on you. you let myself drown in misery and you rejoiced everythings.you're happy to see the other party suffered. Maybe you forgot, and it's okay, if you told the bad things about me to other party. ...because i'll already knew your drama...your script...and you good at manupulating things. ...ha!!! im too tense and i dont want to think about it...please.

i'll continuosly babbling about feeling...perhaps. my heart is hurt..deeply hurt. you cut it open. u never ever care about it... hmm.. i wont despair to this. but, it just somethings too hard for me to accept and everythings seems bleak empty and i feel lost. i know Allah is always there, im not losing my faith, this feeling, everythings is inevitable and... i wish i never knew....but why must i know... WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????????????????????

inevitable

*deleted*

So that was the story. unfortunately...i always be in the middle.kan??? unlucky me again.sigh... i tried to be strong.

He knows everythings....Allah Maha Adil. i did few bad things in mylife, but i always believe that, tuhan akan sentiasa mengampunkan umatNya.Kita manusia yang selalu lupa.Forgive me...if i've hurt anyone...

Another test for me. i reckon The Almightly has its own plan. i'm sad, but i still can smile....i relieve... because i still have plenty time to choose again.that's a promise.

Thank you.

sigh and tears

everythings happened today shocked me to death. i want to scream, my body was shaking i hate crying. but it happened again. yes, i always have a good instinct on somethings. no doubt, it was not wrong at all.

life has to move on. Alhamdullilah The Almighty has showed me everythings. devasted to the things happened... unbearable & unstopable.

argh...whatever.. neway. SELAMAT MENGUNDI MALAYSIA. VOTE FOR BN. ;)

how's wednesday?

aargh. my foot still a bit sakit. i desparately need a massage.sob-sob.

the day is the same. i'm gaining my weight again. damn damn...please i hate all the extra fat inside my body.. below my skins. i wish i can remove them all now. i always thinking to have the liposuction/gastricbypas someday. haha... crazy me haa? so whatever. i cant control it. guilt to eat but.....i'm tense.

so, just like every evening i do some gardening stuffs. i watched american idols.. i like when David cook sing the Lionel Richie song -Hello.. haha you rox man!..

let the tears dry..

ha...

i'd believed. and it happened... shocked me when ppl that i used to love and people that i used to appreciate but never appreciate me back, suddenly appeared back into mylife. ironally i dont feel any strange-lovely-dovey feeling that i'had before. the sparked had gone with the wind, moreover after things he did and said still hovering in my brain and it was horrible. i'm afraid to give another chance. but, i still have the heart to treat him well. but feelingless....

the world is fair enough. The Almighty probably has given me a true light...and strength...amazingly all the tears dry quicky than i've imagined.

march....will be..okay

yes.. it is march already. and april is approaching...

mak usu and her husband.. came to my house... so, as ussual we cooked somethings special for lunch. ayam masak cili padi is one of the favourite. frankly speaking, i had a prob..dealing with the bawang merah...everytime i'll try to kupas and meracik bawang merah..mataku tak henti2 berair and pedih...walaupun dalam jarak yg jauh. any tips? utk tak jadi begitu lagi.benci tau.

so, after we had lunch, we went out to the optician shop coz my auntie..wanted to make a new spec. my mum and i accompanied her there. then, we headed to Giant supermrket, went back home & had tea-time together.